Hey, how are you doing?

By Sarah

Being an international student here in the US, it is sometimes very hard to get used to the American etiquette. I, as an international student here at UCLA, have faced this problem many times. One of these problems is the American way of greeting a stranger.

Almost everyday I get asked the question, “How are you?” or “How are you doing?” In the beginning I always got really confused when a stranger would ask me this question. In my home country, Holland, it is normal to ask this questions to friends or family, and you are expected to give an extended answer telling the person what you’ve been up to and how you are feeling. Was I supposed to do this to a stranger?! My friend Dania, who goes to an American school, told me that this is very common in the US. You are supposed to answer, “Good” or “Fine,” and ask the person how they are, to which they will also respond, “Good.” In the US this expression just means, “Hi,” and does not imply that the person is interested in your personal life.

The article on the website Voice of America states, “In general, people from the U.S. do not like to express their emotions to strangers or acquaintances. They prefer to put on a permanent smile and mask their other feelings.” In America, people are very individualistic, and don’t usually like to get close to people. Thus, they use expressions that might have a deeper meaning in other cultures quite casually.

The subtleness of phrases like “how are you?” can be difficult to understand for non-native speakers, but one of the beauties of studying or living abroad is learning and understanding the culture of the host country a little bit better. To me, I’m not only learning to speak the language, but also the culture.